Most of my adult life I have disliked that question. To me it always felt like I was being put up for judgment. . . like the answer I give, the job I have will determine if I am smart enough, determined enough or good enough. Sometimes I would try to think of the fanciest title for what I do, in hopes it sounded impressive.
Now that question is different. Now that question means something to me. "What do you do?", "who me? I am a Mom!". Silly in a way because I NEVER wanted to be a stay at home mom. I use to think who in there right mind can do that...how boring..how unsatisfying. Why wouldn't these women want to go get real jobs and make something out of themselves. WHO IN THIER RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO STAY HOME WITH A KID ALL DAY? Now I know the answer...ME! I love it. It is the job I am the proudest of. It is the best job I have ever had. It pays better than any job I have ever had, and the rewards are so much greater.
As a stay at home mom, I not only get to watch my daughter grow but I get to be a constant influence in everything she learns and does. I get to be there.
However, I know this is only the way I feel and not everyone can understand it. There are still a lot of career oriented people out there that think that I must just lack ambition. I know he will disagree with me, but I believe my husband is one of those people. He almost seems to cringe when he tells people that I am a stay at home mom. He seems to be slightly embarrassed he does not have some snazzy career title to pin to my name. I can understand. My husband has more determination than anyone I know. He quit everything to follow his dream to become a lawyer, he worked hard and he has accomplished so much. I am proud of him everyday. But this is not what I want for me right now. I like being a mom. I LOVE being a mom. I love that I don't have to miss a thing and it breaks my heart at how much he has to miss.
This is not to say that all I ever want to be is a stay at home mom. Of course not, I mean eventually Maddie will have to go to school right? And then what do I do with myself..sit around and cry. Of course not. I look forward to re-entering the career world. I want to go back to school now to pave my way when that time comes. But right now I am content in my current career path...even if it doesn't get raises and promotions, it gets smiles, kisses and first steps...I would not change it for the world.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
How did I fall behind on so many things. I had so many great ideas, plans...even beginnings but they are all laying unfinished...Lilli's tutu, Maddie's journal, Maddie's scrapbook, Mark and Holly blog and my blog just to name a few of the many things that have gotten pushed aside. I feel like I can't finish anything these days which makes no sense since Maddie is more entertained by herself these days. I should be knocking projects out right and left but I just can't seem to follow through. Get it together Mama. Get on track.