Tuesday, June 26, 2012


I have a lump in my breast. Yep there it is in black and white...a lump. About the size of a walnut. When i told the doctor where it was, she said "Oh, that's not good" as she was making notes. I still think she thought she was going have to search for this supposed lump, but there was no searching necessary...there it is...just hanging out. She said given the size, location and my family history, she wants to get the ball rolling...but that "I do have youth on my side". I have my mammogram tomorrow so we can find out more, so we can know if it is "time to worry". As if I have not already been worrying.

I am torn on my feelings though...as crazy as it sounds. Of course I never, ever want to have to battle cancer...but if I had to, I mean if some day I am going to get it anyways...then why not now? Why not while I am young enough still to put up a good fight, while I am strong and able to recover faster. It seems like I would stand a better chance in battle now than 10 years from now.

You can never be ready for battle...never truly be prepared for a fight....we will see how tomorrow goes

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