Fact or Fiction. . . .Nurture or Nature

Fact or Fiction. . . Nurture or Nature
Current mood: aggravated

I got in a heated argument the other day with an acquaintance of mine.

I made a comment to the extent of sometimes I feel like he is playing a part, acting, and not being himself. His response was what set me off. He said "I still have some of those homosexual tendencies that I have not been able to shake". I ignored the fact that he was categorizing certain of his speech mannerisms "homosexual tendencies" and focused on the "not been able to shake" comment.

It turns out in his "opinion" he use to be gay. Enjoyed (he emphasized "ENJOYED") homosexual loving relationships. However, he has since "decided" to be straight. (there will be a lot of " " in this blog since his choice of words were key.)

The short of it was that he was still attracted to men, but "decided" that was not what he wanted. "Decided" to go back to women and "no longer be a homosexual". He said being gay is a choice that everyone makes, it is not an automatic thing and he choose to no longer be gay.

This goes against everything I believe in. I have had this conversation with several of my gay friends and all of them have said it was never a conscience choice to be gay. It was a choice to come out of the closet and to act on their feelings. But these feelings where always there, whether they chose them or not.

He insisted this was "bull", that "the feelings themselves are choices", that they choose to be attracted to the same sex and they could just as easily "choose" to be un-attracted to the same sex, they just "choose" to be "different". He seemed to disagree with their choice and think it was foolish, even though he had once gone the same way.

After going back in forth with him for a few minutes I was so infuriated with his views on other homosexuals that I had to walk away.

I was talking to another one of my friends about this situation and he said a few things that I liked. I hope he does not mind if I quote him.

"it comes down to the fact that so is eating. i mean, when you're hungry you choose to eat. when you're gay you choose to sleep with men. now, you can be straight and still be gay...it just means that you choose not to sleep with men."

And the part I know that some straight guys might find offensive but I have always made light of this comment myself in arguments with homo-phobs.

"It's all gray area. All of it. Even the straightest guy you can think of has at least 10% gay in him. I really think so. I mean, after all we all start as females. And men have half the gene, right? XY vs. XX."

But he is right . . . it is all a gray area, all of it. Maybe we will never understand it. Maybe there will always be people arguing choice v/s genetics. There will always be people arguing that "it isn't right" and that it is "unnatural" vs the people fighting for basic civil rights not to be based on sexual orientation.

However, I never expected to be having this arguement with someone who "use to be a homosexual".

The end of our conversation when exactly like this.
-"you don't know me"
-"oh, I have seen your script and you read it well. . but I see right through your act"
-"Maybe"

Gray areas.

Oh winter time in the city. . . .

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Oh winter time in the city. . . . Current mood: loved Tonight Mark and I went to Ruby Tuesday's for a quick dinner (you know we love our salad bar) before he had to get back to exams. It was a cold and windy walk down the street (gotta love DC parking, or lack there of) but the cold night was graced with the silent beauty of snow flurries. For someone who hates cold and snow, I do like to watch the snow fall. It wasn't much and it isn't sticking. But it still is a pretty sight. :)

Thanksgiving

Not the prettiest day in Gloucester.

I left D.C. around 8pm on Tuesday to head to my family's house in Gloucester. I-95 was a little bit of a mess, but once I got off on 17 it was smooth sailing. I arrived around 11:30 to find my parents (surprisingly still awake). It was nice to talk to them for a few minutes before we all retired for the night. Unfortunately, the weather was rainy and dreary so it put a little damper on the activities.

But it did not put a damper on the food. We had all the normal fixin's (turkey, ham, homemade mashed potatoes, homemade cranberry sauce, stuffing, pumpkin pie) and there were a few non-traditional items as well (roasted duck, peach pie and a ginger trefoil). The food was great. I ate my full and then I ate some more.

I love thanksgiving, it is my FAVORITE holiday.

I hope everyone had as great of a thanksgiving as I did :)

Monster Dog.

My Mom is 5 feet and 6 inches tall. I think jet may almost be there.

Home for the holidays.

I love being home with my family for the holidays. I miss them.



My Mother hiding from the camera!




My Father(looking thoughtful)!






My brother doing what he does best. . . eating. :)



Jet looking twisted.



Bomber trying to take a nap.

A million of me

I love these kind of mirrors and what better than a million of me :)

The luckiest girl in the world. . .

I do not know how I have gotten so lucky. I have found a sweet man that loves me. I am spoiled and sometimes even a spoiled brat. I have gotten so use to the sweet things he will do for me that when he hasn't done something sweet and amazing I will pout.

After my first day back at work he made me a wonderful candlelit meal of Braised Lamb. Last night I came home and since we were separating for a few days over thanksgiving he decided to do a fun meal for us. He made this amazing rolled bread (the dough itself was filled with flavor, then mozzarella and homemade tomato sauce was rolled in it), he also made bread sticks (filled with flavor and mozzarella melted on top), served with homemade tomato sauce and a tasty chianti. I was in heaven. I ate till I could not possible eat another bite.

How did I get so lucky to find a man, that as busy as he is, still finds times for little sweet surprises almost every day. I will miss him over the next couple of days. He is my heart.