Today I am having a yard sale. My hopes is to get rid of most of Maddie's stuff that I have left to make room in the basement again and to get enough money to #1-take Maddie to the Columbus Zoo next weekend for her last weekend as an only child and #2- buy a comfortable chair to nurse in.
It is kind of...no actually more than kind of...sad getting rid of all Maddie's clothes. There are very few items out that I don't specifically remember Maddie wearing...or have a cute memory of Maddie in it. It makes me miss baby Maddie that you could just snuggle for hours with out her yelling "down mommy down".
I have picked most of the super cute clothes that I am in love with to pass along to one of my dearest friends that is having a little girl. I am so excited to pass them along and see another little girl grow up in them, but at the same time I kind of want to keep all of them...for absolutely no reason at all.
Staring at the clothes I can't help but think how fast Maddie has grown up. How fast she continues to grow. She is such a little girl, or a little princess if you ask her. She has no problem vocalizing all of her opinions, wants and desires. She is so musical...sometimes even her protests are done in song. She is smart as can be, she knows her shapes, colors, numbers, ABC's and some spanish. She is such a lover, she has no problem giving unsolicited hugs, kisses and I love yous to people who are important to her...even friends. I love that. She has the memory of an elephant. The other day when going to a friends house we had only been to once before she pointed out the house to me before even I was sure where it was. It is interesting that all these things make my heart swell up with love and pride and yet break my heart at the same time... because she is becoming a little girl and not my baby.
It makes me wonder if Little Man will grow up just as fast. How him and his sister will co-exist when she insists on being the star of the show, how they will bond and hopefully become little best friends when he is old enough to play with her, how her knowledge will effect him and help him grow. I look forward to watching them together. I just wish they wouldn't have to grow up so fast.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
31 again!
Sunday was my 32nd birthday, unless you ask my husband who keeps telling me I am 31 which totally works for me. It was an amazing birthday, full of smiles, giggles, kisses and love. Who could ask for anything more.
Mark was fighting a very vicious head and chest cold but despite how horrible he was feeling her worked hard and put aside his urge to snuggle under the covers all day to try to make it a great day for me. We started the morning off the best way...we all slept in. Then Mark got Maddie out of her crib and brought her to "wake" me in bed. She was full of smiles and excitement. I was very excited to get my last birthday present..a stovetop popper, much like the one that Melissa gave me years ago that I used until it was DEAD.
Before we headed out for the day my considerate husband wranggled the toddler while I got to work out on the treadmill for 50 minutes. One of my other AMAZING birthday presents was Mark built a shelf to house a cardio cinema and got me a tv so that I could look forward to working out. It really does make me want to work out more. I love, love, love it.
After my work out we hit the road, although it was snowy it was not too cold which was nice. We went to this mexican restaurant in huntington where we had the best nachos I have had since moving to this area. I LOVED them. Next time I want a place all to myself ;) Maddie was not a joy at the restaurant ...as nice as it is that she is walking now, the downside is she always wants her freedom and does not want to be pinned into an evil highchair. So in the end we did a dine and dash (except we actually paid for our meal) to rush a screaming child into the car. Maybe next year we get a sitter for my birthday lunch. Ha ha.
My goal this day was to get a few shirts I could wear and feel good about myself that were not baggy sweatshirts. Mark took on the task of running errands with Maddie so that I could shop on my own. Even among all the christmas crazies it was relaxing and I think I found some really great deals. However, the best part was when Mark and Maddie rejoined me and Maddie showered me with kisses as if I had been gone for years.
When we got home we gave Maddie her kitchen set ...she loved it and watching her play with it was a great birthday gift to myself. She was so happy and had so much fun. I got so much laughter out of her and kisses. It made me think about being 32...or 31 again...really look at my life and realize how amazing it is. I have a wonderful, sweet, considerate husband who loves to spend time with us, he still leaves me love notes and I get random I love yous throughout the day. He loves to make us happy and I love to make him happy. I have an amazing daughter who is so much fun to watch grow. I want to spend every second just enjoying her silly little smiles and games. Who wouldn't love this life.
I hope every birthday can be as joyful as this one was.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Insomnia
Tonight I just can't sleep. I do not know what it is, I am exhausted but my mind won't rest. So instead I have uploaded pictures, videos, emailed friends, played games, worked on my meetup.com sight and revised and added things to my playgroup site. The site has a LOT more work to be done on it before we can drop Meetup.com and just use it but I am still quite proud of it. Check it out.
http://playgroup.justholly.com/
Okay it is now 3:30am and I better force myself to sleep...anyone want to send a little sleep dust my way. :)
http://playgroup.justholly.com/
Okay it is now 3:30am and I better force myself to sleep...anyone want to send a little sleep dust my way. :)
Monday, November 02, 2009
An Oldie but a Goodie
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Finally at the top
Current mood: happy
One of the benefits of living in Colorado is the amazing outdoor life. Everything is so beautiful. There is so much to do outside, hike, climb, explore. . . how could one ever be bored.
We have gone out rock climbing a few times since we have lived here. Since I had to get new shoes and a harness (mine are with the movers that STILL have not arrived), I have only participated the last two times. Both times were at Castlewood Canyon in Castle Rock (no not Stephen Kings Castle Rock).
Both times I was incredibly disappointed with myself. I am not making excuses but the rock is harder out here, not to mention a little more painful (at least the places we have gone to). So I have had climbers block. I would get about 1/4 way up the wall and just block, not be able to go any farther.
I realize part of it is the rough rock scares me, I mean when you fall on that and hit the wall. . . skin is coming off. Needless to say that makes one a little more hesitant to push ones self. Part of it is the nerves of climbing with new people. Especially since the new people and Mark are rockin it on the rock, where I am floundering. But the biggest part is hesitation. . . . hesitation is the root of all that is evil.
I have found in rock climbing that the minute you stop and think about it your path, your climb, your distance from the ground and all the other little factors surrounding you. . you freeze. The path seems harder, the rock seems harder. . . the fall . . . .well it definitely seems harder. So when you stop using the momentum to push you up that rock. . . when you hesitate to guess your next move. .. . well you tend to talk yourself out of it.
A new friend of ours is one of my "Rock Role Models". I wish I looked at the rocks the way he does. Not because he sees nooks and crannies I would never dream of holding on to in a million years (not that secure in my rock climbing). But because when the rock has started to defeat him, he sits back and says "damnit, I am going to get to the top". A couple of times he even stopped while being lowered and said "wait, how about this" and would try the wall one or two more times.
I was starting to become embarrassed. Because in essence not getting to the top during ANY of these climbs. . . well it makes me a quitter. I don't like being a quitter. Who does?
So on the last climb yesterday, using Michelle as my role model for this one (she is newer to climbing than I am, but when her brother says NO, try it this way. . .she tried. . . it doesn't always work out but sometimes it does. . like she became the layback queen on the last outing because she didn't quit) I decided I was going to make it to the top. Now granted this is not the hardest of climbs, but it requires one to do a technique that is called the "lay back". The lay back makes me nervous because basically you are smearing your feet (or putting one in a crack if you are lucky enough to have a crack big enough), sticking your hands in the crack and extending your arms leaning back and climbing the crack. I have NO faith in my upper body strength so this maneuver is not one that I felt comfortable with. As a matter of fact, every time Mark tried to teach it to me I would start to lay back and then quit. . .feeling uncomfortable.
But in order to make it up this climb, the lay back was necessary. So this time, without thinking about it, without hesitating. . . I laid back. .. . damn I laid back the entire way to the top. . . until I was able to touch the beiners. Not only that, but after a few other people climbed. . . I did again this time flying up the rock in under a minute. I was determined. . .not determined to look like a better climber, not determined to impress my peers. . . . but determined to impress myself by not hesitating and overcoming my fears.
Now, I am proud of myself, because I overcame something that was causing me to not enjoy myself at one of my favorite hobbies.
If my arms were not so damn sore. . . I would be back out there today, seeing what else I can overcome :)
Finally at the top
Current mood: happy
One of the benefits of living in Colorado is the amazing outdoor life. Everything is so beautiful. There is so much to do outside, hike, climb, explore. . . how could one ever be bored.
We have gone out rock climbing a few times since we have lived here. Since I had to get new shoes and a harness (mine are with the movers that STILL have not arrived), I have only participated the last two times. Both times were at Castlewood Canyon in Castle Rock (no not Stephen Kings Castle Rock).
Both times I was incredibly disappointed with myself. I am not making excuses but the rock is harder out here, not to mention a little more painful (at least the places we have gone to). So I have had climbers block. I would get about 1/4 way up the wall and just block, not be able to go any farther.
I realize part of it is the rough rock scares me, I mean when you fall on that and hit the wall. . . skin is coming off. Needless to say that makes one a little more hesitant to push ones self. Part of it is the nerves of climbing with new people. Especially since the new people and Mark are rockin it on the rock, where I am floundering. But the biggest part is hesitation. . . . hesitation is the root of all that is evil.
I have found in rock climbing that the minute you stop and think about it your path, your climb, your distance from the ground and all the other little factors surrounding you. . you freeze. The path seems harder, the rock seems harder. . . the fall . . . .well it definitely seems harder. So when you stop using the momentum to push you up that rock. . . when you hesitate to guess your next move. .. . well you tend to talk yourself out of it.
A new friend of ours is one of my "Rock Role Models". I wish I looked at the rocks the way he does. Not because he sees nooks and crannies I would never dream of holding on to in a million years (not that secure in my rock climbing). But because when the rock has started to defeat him, he sits back and says "damnit, I am going to get to the top". A couple of times he even stopped while being lowered and said "wait, how about this" and would try the wall one or two more times.
I was starting to become embarrassed. Because in essence not getting to the top during ANY of these climbs. . . well it makes me a quitter. I don't like being a quitter. Who does?
So on the last climb yesterday, using Michelle as my role model for this one (she is newer to climbing than I am, but when her brother says NO, try it this way. . .she tried. . . it doesn't always work out but sometimes it does. . like she became the layback queen on the last outing because she didn't quit) I decided I was going to make it to the top. Now granted this is not the hardest of climbs, but it requires one to do a technique that is called the "lay back". The lay back makes me nervous because basically you are smearing your feet (or putting one in a crack if you are lucky enough to have a crack big enough), sticking your hands in the crack and extending your arms leaning back and climbing the crack. I have NO faith in my upper body strength so this maneuver is not one that I felt comfortable with. As a matter of fact, every time Mark tried to teach it to me I would start to lay back and then quit. . .feeling uncomfortable.
But in order to make it up this climb, the lay back was necessary. So this time, without thinking about it, without hesitating. . . I laid back. .. . damn I laid back the entire way to the top. . . until I was able to touch the beiners. Not only that, but after a few other people climbed. . . I did again this time flying up the rock in under a minute. I was determined. . .not determined to look like a better climber, not determined to impress my peers. . . . but determined to impress myself by not hesitating and overcoming my fears.
Now, I am proud of myself, because I overcame something that was causing me to not enjoy myself at one of my favorite hobbies.
If my arms were not so damn sore. . . I would be back out there today, seeing what else I can overcome :)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
And what do YOU do?
Most of my adult life I have disliked that question. To me it always felt like I was being put up for judgment. . . like the answer I give, the job I have will determine if I am smart enough, determined enough or good enough. Sometimes I would try to think of the fanciest title for what I do, in hopes it sounded impressive.
Now that question is different. Now that question means something to me. "What do you do?", "who me? I am a Mom!". Silly in a way because I NEVER wanted to be a stay at home mom. I use to think who in there right mind can do that...how boring..how unsatisfying. Why wouldn't these women want to go get real jobs and make something out of themselves. WHO IN THIER RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO STAY HOME WITH A KID ALL DAY? Now I know the answer...ME! I love it. It is the job I am the proudest of. It is the best job I have ever had. It pays better than any job I have ever had, and the rewards are so much greater.
As a stay at home mom, I not only get to watch my daughter grow but I get to be a constant influence in everything she learns and does. I get to be there.
However, I know this is only the way I feel and not everyone can understand it. There are still a lot of career oriented people out there that think that I must just lack ambition. I know he will disagree with me, but I believe my husband is one of those people. He almost seems to cringe when he tells people that I am a stay at home mom. He seems to be slightly embarrassed he does not have some snazzy career title to pin to my name. I can understand. My husband has more determination than anyone I know. He quit everything to follow his dream to become a lawyer, he worked hard and he has accomplished so much. I am proud of him everyday. But this is not what I want for me right now. I like being a mom. I LOVE being a mom. I love that I don't have to miss a thing and it breaks my heart at how much he has to miss.
This is not to say that all I ever want to be is a stay at home mom. Of course not, I mean eventually Maddie will have to go to school right? And then what do I do with myself..sit around and cry. Of course not. I look forward to re-entering the career world. I want to go back to school now to pave my way when that time comes. But right now I am content in my current career path...even if it doesn't get raises and promotions, it gets smiles, kisses and first steps...I would not change it for the world.
Now that question is different. Now that question means something to me. "What do you do?", "who me? I am a Mom!". Silly in a way because I NEVER wanted to be a stay at home mom. I use to think who in there right mind can do that...how boring..how unsatisfying. Why wouldn't these women want to go get real jobs and make something out of themselves. WHO IN THIER RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO STAY HOME WITH A KID ALL DAY? Now I know the answer...ME! I love it. It is the job I am the proudest of. It is the best job I have ever had. It pays better than any job I have ever had, and the rewards are so much greater.
As a stay at home mom, I not only get to watch my daughter grow but I get to be a constant influence in everything she learns and does. I get to be there.
However, I know this is only the way I feel and not everyone can understand it. There are still a lot of career oriented people out there that think that I must just lack ambition. I know he will disagree with me, but I believe my husband is one of those people. He almost seems to cringe when he tells people that I am a stay at home mom. He seems to be slightly embarrassed he does not have some snazzy career title to pin to my name. I can understand. My husband has more determination than anyone I know. He quit everything to follow his dream to become a lawyer, he worked hard and he has accomplished so much. I am proud of him everyday. But this is not what I want for me right now. I like being a mom. I LOVE being a mom. I love that I don't have to miss a thing and it breaks my heart at how much he has to miss.
This is not to say that all I ever want to be is a stay at home mom. Of course not, I mean eventually Maddie will have to go to school right? And then what do I do with myself..sit around and cry. Of course not. I look forward to re-entering the career world. I want to go back to school now to pave my way when that time comes. But right now I am content in my current career path...even if it doesn't get raises and promotions, it gets smiles, kisses and first steps...I would not change it for the world.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The ADD Me
How did I fall behind on so many things. I had so many great ideas, plans...even beginnings but they are all laying unfinished...Lilli's tutu, Maddie's journal, Maddie's scrapbook, Mark and Holly blog and my blog just to name a few of the many things that have gotten pushed aside. I feel like I can't finish anything these days which makes no sense since Maddie is more entertained by herself these days. I should be knocking projects out right and left but I just can't seem to follow through. Get it together Mama. Get on track.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Mark Graduated from Law School
Well three years has gone by in a flash. It seems like just yesterday Mark and I were packing up our lives in Virginia and moving to DC so he could start law school. I remember in those first days I was soooooooooo excited for him. You would of thought I was starting school. I loved hearing about Contracts and Torts...but then he got into the boring subjects like International Law and Corperations ...blah...
It was a lot of work and although he loves learning about the law ...it took a LOT of his time and he probably missed out on one or two things because of it. I don't think he would change a thing though. Now we are Kentuckians (ha ha) and Mark is only a few months away from being a Lawyer. I am sooooo proud of him. I know if Maddie understood everything Mark has done in the past 3 years, she would be so proud of her dad too. He is a great role model for her...he had a dream and he had no problem dropping everything and achieving it. Love that man.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)