Sunday, July 15, 2012


Today I felt hopeless...I tried not to but it was just sitting there in my chest. Maybe it was side swiping a park car last night (genius move on my part) that finally overloaded me on stress but I did not like this feeling. It ached and caused me to have trouble enjoying my morning with my family. It made me feel like just crawling back in bed and crying. I am not a fan of this hopelessness.

I told Mark it sucked because I have been working so hard at being happy and strong...but today I felt weak and sad. It was like a weight crushing my chest.

Luckily, I have amazing kids, a pain in the butt but amazing husband and some great slowly as the day went on that feeling got less and less until finally it was gone. I hope it won't come back...but we know it will. Mark quoted a scene from Breaking Bad that I won't even try to quote word for word (I would murder it) but what it boiled down to is...we are all going to die one day so sometimes it is okay to feel a little hopeless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Holly. So I got your blog from Hillary M and have started back towards the beginning. After reading this days blog, you are right. Having gone through hodgkins lymphoma and the chemo route, there are days where the hopeless feeling just creeps up on you. It's hard to fight that feeling, but it sounds like you've got a great support group around you, and those are the days to rely on them the most. Stay strong, stay positive and you'll get through it.